Decent into Madness

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I cleaned my desk last weekend.

For those of you who have never been to my home this is an innocent enough statement. However for those of you who have seen my desk, you know that this was a large task in itself. Piles of software, computer parts, papers, cables and a host of various materials were piled high and all over my desk. It took me over two hours to go from one end of the desk to the other removing material that has collected over the last couple of years.
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Whinings of a Wussy

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So a couple of you might know this but I have a phobia of two things that have the power to absolutely terrify me.

Spiders and Dentists.

The spider phobia comes and goes but is definitely manageable once I reach down between my legs and grab a pair. The dentist one is not even close to manageable. I walk into a dentist office and immediately start having anxiety attacks start building.

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I Suck

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So another year has come and gone. I celebrated my 38th birthday on January 31st. Well I didn’t really celebrate it. I am just so sick of people not listening to me and wondering why I get upset. Last year around my birthday I posted a piece called “Friends Suck” that covered the fact that I am doing miserably at the entire social interaction thing. One of the things that I made a point of bringing up was that for once I would love a party to be thrown for my birthday that was not all about family.

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Scared World

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So I have been using various online social networks for the last six months or so in order to locate and meet local people. I have accomplished half that goal and have located quite a few local people. I have spoken briefly with said local people and I have been blown off by said local people. Could not figure out what was going on. I mean I go out of my way to be sociable, I am open, I am honest and I put my best foot forward.

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Ghosts Gone By

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One Nights Dream Ghosts.jpg

Since I am socially challenged I get a lot of time to reflect on my life, my situation and how I feel about where I am now. While there are a lot of great things to my life I am lacking in the friends department.

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